Sodomy: any questions you dare not ask about anal sex

Anal Sex

Anal penetration remains taboo. Practiced in the right conditions, it can nevertheless be a source of much pleasure. Testimonials and expert opinions.
Presented as a deviant or “natural”, anal penetration is still often perceived as suspicious. Even when, when it is consented and the good conditions are met, it can lead to the enjoyment of both partners.

1. Is it dirty?

Our mother taught us little, we do not touch his excrement, it’s dirty. This information remains deeply ingrained in us, and this explains why sodomy can be so difficult to grasp. But for Dr. Mireille Dubois Chevalier, sexologist, when we talk about sexuality, we must be ready to face the “dirty” body.

Nevertheless, to avoid the inconvenience, some women anticipate anal sex using an enema pear, or even monitoring their diet in the hours before. This is the case of Viviane, 34 years old: “When I want to practice sodomy with my partner, I make sure that my intestines are empty. The idea is to get off, not to bother with technical details scabrous.” Lola, 29, is more of a fan of spontaneity: “It’s haphazard luck, sometimes it’s clean, sometimes it’s dirty, it’s the game!”

2. Does it hurt?

From a physiological point of view, the anus is not designed to be penetrated. It is naturally narrower, and more innervated than the vagina. Penetration through this can be painful. But as the body and the brain are well done, when the excitement is strong, the pain can quickly turn into pleasure. However, the anus is not naturally lubricated by excitation, it is strongly recommended to use a lubricant – preferably based on water or silicone – to avoid anal lesions. “It takes a real state of sexual excitement for the sphincters are relaxed and the report is not painful,” says the sexologist. For Lola, the pain is part of the game: “The sodomy uses a fantasy ‘trash’, bestial. The first penetration can sometimes be difficult or a little painful, but it is also what excites me.”

3. Is it good?

If Lola also often practices sodomy – a report on two of her own admission – it is because for her, anal penetration is a source of intense pleasure. “I reach more powerful orgasms than with a ‘classic’ relationship,” she says. “The anus is for me a much more erogenous and sensitive part than the vagina”. Viviane, when she had her first orgasm with a man at 26. Thanks to sodomy.

For Mireille Dubois Chevalier, the explanation is simple: “We are in a totally erotic practice, unlike vaginal penetration, which, despite everything, remains associated with procreation. Anal penetration requires that we submit to the virile power from his partner.” Sodomy, on the edge of sado-masochism? This is also the opinion of sex therapist Violaine Gelly. But make no mistake: “Between the sado and the maso, it is always the maso who wins. It is he who holds the reins of the relationship, since it has the power to stop the play when he wants.”

4. Is it risky?

Let it be said once and for all: it is impossible to get pregnant by practicing sodomy. On the other hand, the walls of the anus being very delicate, it can happen to create lesions if the report is too brutal, or not sufficiently lubricated. And the stool is not sterile, the risk of infection is not negligible. To avoid cystitis and other urinary infections, it is also not recommended to go from the anus to the vagina without changing a condom, or without going through the ‘shower’ box. “If we start asking too many questions, it is not necessary,” advises Dr. Mireille Dubois Chevalier. “After all, sex is an activity that endangers more than one level!”

5. What inconvenience after?

prepare for anal sex

After an anal report, it happens to have gas, bloating, even a strong desire to go to the bathroom, as entrusts Victoria, 21 years. And that is why it is better to be (very) comfortable with your partner so you can relax after the act and not to hide, mortified under the duvet, if a little fart escapes you.

6. Is this a “banal” sexual act?

If the rate of women who have already practiced sodomy has increased from 24% in the early 1990s to 37% 15 years later according to the Inserm, the anal report remains considered by the majority of women as a rather marginal experience in their lives sexual. Astrid, 31, had only twice the opportunity to try the experiment. She sees a “letting go total”. For Victoria, “it’s even more intimate than the classic way.”

According to Violaine Gelly, there is a form of trivialization of the representation of sodomy (50 Shades of Gray), but “this trivialization is double-edged because it can allow men to demand of their companions. the importance of talking to your partner if you’re not sure, and having the freedom to say no.”